Do The Robot

Last week, I was super excited when the ticket window at AMC handed me a voucher for a free ticket. Using my moviewatcher card, I had somehow earned or randomly been chosen for this wonderful gift. Of course, I couldn’t use it on the movie I was seeing that day. And it expires in a month. And I can’t use it on any “special engagements”. When I inquired what constituted a “special engagement,” I was informed that it was any movie on their electronic train-schedule-esque board with an asterisk. Oook, How do I know which movies have asterisks when I’m sitting at home trying to pick a movie with my husband? So I ask someone else, who tells me a “special engagement” is any movie that’s been out for less than 2 weeks. Oh joy.

Since I got two different responses, I decided to call on the evening in which my husband and I wished to see a movie. It has been a very long time since J and I saw a movie together. Perhaps it’s the work-week business and the high weekend prices. Ok, just scratch that and make it a definitely. Unsure if the movie we want to see (The Bounty Hunter, for those of you interested) is still considered a special engagement, I decided it would be simplest to just call and ask.

Apparently calling and asking is a thing of the past. When I tried to find a phone number for our local AMC, all I could find was the corporate number. Finally, I called ,assuming I could somehow get to a live person on such a hectic movie night as a Saturday.

So at this point, for those of you keeping track, it’s AMC 2, Me 0 in the point scale. I was wrong again. I get a recording. Here’s how our conversation went, me and the crazed AMC Robot.

AMC Robot: Would you like to hear the movie times for AMC Tallahassee Mall?
ME: No.
AR: Would you like to hear what movies are currently playing?
Me: No. LIVE PERSON.
AR: I’m sorry, I couldn’t understand that. Would you like to [at this point she lists four different options, none of which are live person]
Me: LIVE PERSON!!
AR: I’m sorry I didn’t understand that. Would you like to purchase tickets for a movie?
Me: Yes.
AR: What movie? Say the movie name.
Me: The Bounty Hunter.
AR: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that. Please try again.
ME: THE BOUNTY HUNTER [all caps indicates me yelling here]
AR: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that. Please try again.
Me: The Bou-nty Hun-ter (annunciating like a robot)
AR: What time would you like? There is a 7, 7:45, 9:45 and 10:30. Say your movie time.
Me: 9:45.
AR: I’m sorry I didn’t understand that. Please try again.
Me: Ni-Ne Fo-rty Fi-ve (again with the robot talk)
AR: You’ve selected the 9:45. Is that correct?
Me: Yes.
AR: How many tickets would you like?
Me: Two.
AR: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that. Please try again.
ME: TWO. DOS. DEU.
AR: Ok, let’s make sure I’ve got this right. You want two tickets for the 9:45 showing of The Bounty Hunter. Is that right?
Me:Yes.
AR: You’re total is-
ME: FREE TICKET! FREE TICKET! Will it work!?
AR: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that. Please try again.
ME: Are you f-ing kidding me?!
AR: I’m sorry, I didn’t understand that. Please try again.

At this point, I hit the zero button. She then told me the number for the AMC in the Tallahassee mall. I didn’t have a pen or paper. I then spent 45 seconds yelling REPEAT! before hitting the zero again. Then she offered to transfer me.

When I finally got to a live person, I learned that the movie had only been out for a week and I couldn’t use my free ticket. We didn’t go.

AMC 3, Me 0

Lesson learned: Talk like a robot, and you’ll spend less time yelling at one.

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