What’s in a name? Everything. Absolutely everything.

Disclaimer: With the combination of not having a Disney movie for over a week and discovering a new, even snarkier blog (thebloggess.com. Go there. But finish reading this first, it will help my self-esteem), I myself am feeling quite snarky. You’ve been warned.

I’ve decided that if you name your child Stewart, he will be super smart. This means he’ll have 14 bazillion degrees and still be getting even more college degrees when he has white hair. It also means he will be charming and funny, and be super nice to all of his fellow tutors. I know this because I know a Stewart, and he is super smart and everything else I said two sentences ago. And you must spell Stewart without the -ua- (Stuart) because the -ua- is clearly the pretentious spelling and you don’t want your Stewart to be that guy. Also, don’t call him Stewie or he’ll turn into a cartoon (which in itself would be kind of cool, but so not worth explaining to strangers and other frightened children) and spend his life attempting to kill you and your family while simultaneously planning an evil world domination.

Huh. That could be distracting from his little genius-baby cuteness.

I’ll stick with Walt. Or just have girls. Or..both?

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